Normally I don't go for the whole personality type thing, especially since my psychology background almost requires it of me. I've taken the Meyers-Briggs before with disappointing, unmemorable results. But I took it recently and just got the results back, and I was actually somewhat pleased. I think I finally found a four-letter combination that describes me at least a little.
Here is a relatively poor but interesting description of my type. Here is another one relating to how I supposedly function in relationships which I think it more than a tad accurate. What what, conflict avoidance and a constant need for praise.
So is it all crap? Probably. (I'm really middle-of-the-road when it comes to intro/extroversion and judging/perceiving.) But it's fun, and this is the first time I've had fun with it. And at least it's better than that damn test where I'm a shepherd.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Black. Wha?
So it's become a weekly mini-tradition for me and my residents to watch FX's Black. White. and discuss everything from racism at an institutional level to omigod, this white woman is a raving lunatic. But I'm finding that I can't get over some logistics of the show.
Most significant: so I get that the families change races with makeup and go out into "real-life" situations (this is "reality" programming, après tout) where the people with whom they interact aren't clued in to the gimmick unless the family member outs her or himself. So, the big show-wrecking question for me is, what are they thinking the cameras are there for? I mean, I don't know how I would act in the situation, but if I saw someone with (a) suspiciously cakey skin, (b) a noticeable discomfort and (c) a bloody camera crew, I would be more than a little weirded out. What are these people thinking? There has to be some producer intervention, which kind of takes away from the show.
I suppose regardless of the logistics and the whole problematic nature of BW (Blackface much?), it's pretty entertaining, and it seems to get people talking. I'm more or less hooked and I'm curious as to where the show's going.
Most significant: so I get that the families change races with makeup and go out into "real-life" situations (this is "reality" programming, après tout) where the people with whom they interact aren't clued in to the gimmick unless the family member outs her or himself. So, the big show-wrecking question for me is, what are they thinking the cameras are there for? I mean, I don't know how I would act in the situation, but if I saw someone with (a) suspiciously cakey skin, (b) a noticeable discomfort and (c) a bloody camera crew, I would be more than a little weirded out. What are these people thinking? There has to be some producer intervention, which kind of takes away from the show.
I suppose regardless of the logistics and the whole problematic nature of BW (Blackface much?), it's pretty entertaining, and it seems to get people talking. I'm more or less hooked and I'm curious as to where the show's going.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Random Movie Thoughts
Here is a collection of movies I've seen recently with some fairly haphazard thoughts.
Rent
Pretty much what I expected. It was fun since it has been an eternity since I last listened to the soundtrack or even really thought of the musical. Some of the songs were a little on the unbearable side, and Allison and I managed to hold an extended conversation at the beginning of the movie out of sheer disinterest. Sarah Silverman is grossly underused, too. But not that bad, really.
Pretty Persuasion
Started off really funny and then an hour later, not so much with the funny. Evan Rachel Wood does a great job though. And I guess...that's about it. Interesting assortment of characters but not really that memorable or compelling. Ron Livingston's always nice to see, though.
Night Watch
The beginning was so violent I almost called it quits right there but now I'm glad I stuck around. The subtitle trickery was really clever and the whole style of the movie was just wow. One of the plot points in particular falls with a big, anticlimactic thud, but other than that it was way fun. I'll definitely see the sequels.
Eraserhead
Exactly what you'd expect from David Lynch's first big filmmaking effort and more. Weird, creepy, startling and confounding. And that baby thing is just gross.
Storytelling
Not Solondz's best, I have to say. Happiness and Palindromes, for all of their bizarre characters and plot turns, are much more entertaining and present something more cohesive. The first story is much more affecting than the second and I wish more time was devoted to the former. Strangers With Candy fave Tammi Littlenut has a brief appearance in the first half, too, which was a pleasant surprise.
Rent
Pretty much what I expected. It was fun since it has been an eternity since I last listened to the soundtrack or even really thought of the musical. Some of the songs were a little on the unbearable side, and Allison and I managed to hold an extended conversation at the beginning of the movie out of sheer disinterest. Sarah Silverman is grossly underused, too. But not that bad, really.
Pretty Persuasion
Started off really funny and then an hour later, not so much with the funny. Evan Rachel Wood does a great job though. And I guess...that's about it. Interesting assortment of characters but not really that memorable or compelling. Ron Livingston's always nice to see, though.
Night Watch
The beginning was so violent I almost called it quits right there but now I'm glad I stuck around. The subtitle trickery was really clever and the whole style of the movie was just wow. One of the plot points in particular falls with a big, anticlimactic thud, but other than that it was way fun. I'll definitely see the sequels.
Eraserhead
Exactly what you'd expect from David Lynch's first big filmmaking effort and more. Weird, creepy, startling and confounding. And that baby thing is just gross.
Storytelling
Not Solondz's best, I have to say. Happiness and Palindromes, for all of their bizarre characters and plot turns, are much more entertaining and present something more cohesive. The first story is much more affecting than the second and I wish more time was devoted to the former. Strangers With Candy fave Tammi Littlenut has a brief appearance in the first half, too, which was a pleasant surprise.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Fop Secret
I just don't know what to think of PostSecret. I mean, it's definitely entertaining. I would be lying if I told you I didn't check the updates every Monday morning at work. But it's just so...emo, for lack of a better word. No, come to think of it that's just the right word. The plug in the All-American Rejects video kind of helped that along, too. I mean I know they do good work for suicide prevention. The whole thing just kind of makes me roll my eyes sometimes, especially with all the media coverage of the site now.
So does it make me a superficial person to say I just like the funny ones? Or the funky artsy ones? Or the honest to God horribly immoral ones? (The card on stealing money from the non-profit org comes to mind.)
And don't get me wrong. I've entertained the thought of making my own card and sending it in. But...bleh. I can't imagine getting a rush of emotion from doing it. There would be no value at least on a cathartic level, but I do suppose it's helpful for some people. And I just can't shake this feeling of, hey, maybe we as a society should just start being more open with each other rather than anonymously glueing stuff to postcards. You know?
So does it make me a superficial person to say I just like the funny ones? Or the funky artsy ones? Or the honest to God horribly immoral ones? (The card on stealing money from the non-profit org comes to mind.)
And don't get me wrong. I've entertained the thought of making my own card and sending it in. But...bleh. I can't imagine getting a rush of emotion from doing it. There would be no value at least on a cathartic level, but I do suppose it's helpful for some people. And I just can't shake this feeling of, hey, maybe we as a society should just start being more open with each other rather than anonymously glueing stuff to postcards. You know?
Friday, March 24, 2006
It Rocks, Evidently
I will be spending this weekend in sunny and beautiful Cleveland for a work-related conference. Most if not all of my past exposure to Ohio has consisted of driving the turnpike to PA, so I'm hoping this trip improves my opinion of the state as a whole. Cause really all I can go off of is flatness and agoraphobia-inducing rest stops.
The con is at Case Western Reserve which, as my research tells me, boasts such alumni as the Russo brothers who are the directors of Arrested Development, and presidential almost-candidate Dennis Kucinich. That's two points for you, Cleveland, but you'll have to show me what else you got.
The con is at Case Western Reserve which, as my research tells me, boasts such alumni as the Russo brothers who are the directors of Arrested Development, and presidential almost-candidate Dennis Kucinich. That's two points for you, Cleveland, but you'll have to show me what else you got.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
John Waters: The Recent Stuff
Cry-Baby
The Plot: Set in the fifties, Johnny Depp is a high school rebel who sings a lot, gets put in jail, and then sings some more. And stuff.
From reading reviews on the internets, this seems to be the least liked of Waters's films. I thought it was kinda fun in a ridiculously PG-rated sort of way. It's a musical which gets a bleh from me right away, but Depp and the supporting characters did a good job. And the final scene provides just the right amount of Wha...what the hell? to keep it from going totally flat. Entertaining, but Waters really should have just done Hairspray and called it a day. Fortunately for us all he moved on to...
Serial Mom
The Plot: Kathleen Turner is a wife, homemaker, and mother of two who, while appearing Stepfordian in every way, has a secret, murderous side that becomes all the more suspicious when folks in the neighborhood keep turning up dead.
Oh God, definitely one of my favorites. I would argue that this is Waters's gayest movie, too. You can't get more queer than a crazy Kathleen Turner beating Patty Hearst to death with a phone for wearing white shoes after Labor Day. Turner just takes this movie and fucking runs with it, and it's great to watch. Not too cutesy, not too vile. Perfect, murderous, movie harmony.
Pecker
The plot: Edward Furlong comes from a working class family, takes some pictures, has an annoying girlfriend, becomes famous, and we all learn a lesson about life or something.
Blech. Worst of Waters, no question. Even at a brief eightyish minutes I was bored out of my mind and managed to check my email, Facebook and Myspace multiple times during the movie. There was no Waters edge at all. Nor was it particularly funny or risque. Just a predictable, poor and trashy versus rich and snobby comedy. Ricci was flat. Not a horrible movie altogether, but disappointing fare from a director who we know is capable of much more.
Cecil B. Demented
The plot: Underground terrorist/director Cecil B. Demented and his followers kidnap a shrill, obnoxious actress (who is not supposed to be anything like the real Melanie Griffith AT ALL) and force her to star in their latest film, which is more or less a reckless fuck-you to mainstream cinema.
Maybe it's because I watched this one right after Pecker but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. What a fun movie. Even the presence of Melanie Griffith didn't ruin much. (For the most part.) And Maggie Gyllenhaal is so cute as the Satanic makeup artist. The cast had a very "young, up and coming actors of six years ago" feel (Alicia Witt and Adrian Grenier, much?) but managed to do well anyway. Predictable but fun.
A Dirty Shame
The plot: After a head injury, Tracey Ullman becomes a nymphomaniac and together with her buxom daughter and a band of merry perverts, try to spread their message of sexual liberation throughout conservative Baltimore.
I refrained from watching this one since I saw it last year when it was out in theaters, and really that was enough. I remember being amused, especially during the Hokey Pokey scene, but Knoxville just wasn't that great and Tracey Ullman and Selma Blair (along with all of the assorted sexual deviants) had to carry what was left of the movie. Funny gags, and undoubtedly better than Pecker, but that's about it. Bad ending, too.
The Plot: Set in the fifties, Johnny Depp is a high school rebel who sings a lot, gets put in jail, and then sings some more. And stuff.
From reading reviews on the internets, this seems to be the least liked of Waters's films. I thought it was kinda fun in a ridiculously PG-rated sort of way. It's a musical which gets a bleh from me right away, but Depp and the supporting characters did a good job. And the final scene provides just the right amount of Wha...what the hell? to keep it from going totally flat. Entertaining, but Waters really should have just done Hairspray and called it a day. Fortunately for us all he moved on to...
Serial Mom
The Plot: Kathleen Turner is a wife, homemaker, and mother of two who, while appearing Stepfordian in every way, has a secret, murderous side that becomes all the more suspicious when folks in the neighborhood keep turning up dead.
Oh God, definitely one of my favorites. I would argue that this is Waters's gayest movie, too. You can't get more queer than a crazy Kathleen Turner beating Patty Hearst to death with a phone for wearing white shoes after Labor Day. Turner just takes this movie and fucking runs with it, and it's great to watch. Not too cutesy, not too vile. Perfect, murderous, movie harmony.
Pecker
The plot: Edward Furlong comes from a working class family, takes some pictures, has an annoying girlfriend, becomes famous, and we all learn a lesson about life or something.
Blech. Worst of Waters, no question. Even at a brief eightyish minutes I was bored out of my mind and managed to check my email, Facebook and Myspace multiple times during the movie. There was no Waters edge at all. Nor was it particularly funny or risque. Just a predictable, poor and trashy versus rich and snobby comedy. Ricci was flat. Not a horrible movie altogether, but disappointing fare from a director who we know is capable of much more.
Cecil B. Demented
The plot: Underground terrorist/director Cecil B. Demented and his followers kidnap a shrill, obnoxious actress (who is not supposed to be anything like the real Melanie Griffith AT ALL) and force her to star in their latest film, which is more or less a reckless fuck-you to mainstream cinema.
Maybe it's because I watched this one right after Pecker but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. What a fun movie. Even the presence of Melanie Griffith didn't ruin much. (For the most part.) And Maggie Gyllenhaal is so cute as the Satanic makeup artist. The cast had a very "young, up and coming actors of six years ago" feel (Alicia Witt and Adrian Grenier, much?) but managed to do well anyway. Predictable but fun.
A Dirty Shame
The plot: After a head injury, Tracey Ullman becomes a nymphomaniac and together with her buxom daughter and a band of merry perverts, try to spread their message of sexual liberation throughout conservative Baltimore.
I refrained from watching this one since I saw it last year when it was out in theaters, and really that was enough. I remember being amused, especially during the Hokey Pokey scene, but Knoxville just wasn't that great and Tracey Ullman and Selma Blair (along with all of the assorted sexual deviants) had to carry what was left of the movie. Funny gags, and undoubtedly better than Pecker, but that's about it. Bad ending, too.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
More Swag
Look at the stop sign stickers you can get off of Glarkware! The best one by far is the Vanilla Ice homage, but the Smiths shout-out is a close second. Would anyone be up for a night of petty vandalizing and, presumably, drinking? Watch out Ann Arbor, cause you're about to get FACED*.
*Okay, not really. But it's a fun idea anyway.
*Okay, not really. But it's a fun idea anyway.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Threadless Swag
Omigod, I owe my life to Jai for giving me the early heads-up on the Threadless $10 sale.
Everyone should go there and order a sweet shirt and show your support for the site and the designers. But you're not allowed to get this or this or this, because those are the ones I just ordered. Although I absolutely love this illustrated shout out to the linguistically dorky among us.
Threadless is one of those things that is still underappreciated enough that you can go up to someone wearing a shirt and be all "Threadless?" and they're all "Shyeah." And then you feel all cool. I love moments like those.
Everyone should go there and order a sweet shirt and show your support for the site and the designers. But you're not allowed to get this or this or this, because those are the ones I just ordered. Although I absolutely love this illustrated shout out to the linguistically dorky among us.
Threadless is one of those things that is still underappreciated enough that you can go up to someone wearing a shirt and be all "Threadless?" and they're all "Shyeah." And then you feel all cool. I love moments like those.
The Freshmaker: Ragamuffins, Reality TV Gimmicks and Rather Inessential Kitchen Utensils
Fresh: Cameron Bright
Fresh last week: Spencer Breslin
Stale: Dakota Fanning
Fresh: Brain swapping
Fresh last week: Race swapping
Stale: Wife swapping
Fresh: Melon ballers
Fresh last week: Apple corers
Stale: Whisks
Fresh last week: Spencer Breslin
Stale: Dakota Fanning
Fresh: Brain swapping
Fresh last week: Race swapping
Stale: Wife swapping
Fresh: Melon ballers
Fresh last week: Apple corers
Stale: Whisks
Monday, March 13, 2006
Bee Arr Bee
This is just a heads up that there probably won't be any posts for a little while (probably through this week) in hopefully what is a not-so-futile attempt to get my life back in order. Thanks.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Showy Chloe
So, I promise this will be the last Project Runway post. For a while. Maybe.
Our beloved Chloe Dao deservedly took the crown much to everyone's surprise. All of the collections had problems, but I certainly liked hers the best. It was risky, granted, but I think she had the high fashion feel that Daniel and Santino lacked. Plus, girl is cute! If I wore dresses, I would buy one of hers in a hot second.
I think her win is all the better since she undoubtedly had the best personality of the trio. Daniel just got so tiring by the end and Santino, sad story or not, is Santino.
Great job, Bravo on a compelling follow-up to the first season. Don't screw it up in Season 3!
Our beloved Chloe Dao deservedly took the crown much to everyone's surprise. All of the collections had problems, but I certainly liked hers the best. It was risky, granted, but I think she had the high fashion feel that Daniel and Santino lacked. Plus, girl is cute! If I wore dresses, I would buy one of hers in a hot second.
I think her win is all the better since she undoubtedly had the best personality of the trio. Daniel just got so tiring by the end and Santino, sad story or not, is Santino.
Great job, Bravo on a compelling follow-up to the first season. Don't screw it up in Season 3!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Bad Fashion Wednesday
Like, OMG. This is like the craziest teevee night ever. Tonight is the premiere of America's Next Top Model and the finale of Project Runway. I can hardly contain myself! You might remember that they did the reverse of this programming last December with the crappy finale of ANTM (Boo, Nicole) and the premiere of PR. This is an eventful reality month with the decent start of The Amazing Race as well. It's a good thing I stopped watching The Apprentice after that season when Ivana took her skirt off. (Did anything else happen that season? Or in the two seasons since? No? Okay then.)
Going by the episode title of ANTM, it looks like the modellettes will be challenged to pose sans cheveux for their first shoot. That should be awesome to say the least.
Going by the episode title of ANTM, it looks like the modellettes will be challenged to pose sans cheveux for their first shoot. That should be awesome to say the least.
Monday, March 06, 2006
The BooYay: Oscars Edition
Yay for Charlize for fugging it up to the fugstreme. For God sakes, someone had to do it. And someone besides you, Hillary Swank.
Boo for the totally unsurprising acting wins. More like Philip Seysnore Hoffman. Zing!
Boo on the montages for being even more inessential this year than in years previous. What was that one in the middle of the show even about? The best title I could come up with was, "Montage of, Like, Issues...In Movies".
Yay for Three 6 Mafia for taking Best Song. I mean, whoa! Black people rapping and winning awards for it! Crazy! This is such a big deal! Let's talk about it for the rest of the show because of it's sheer craziness!
Boo on me for being the only one in the free world who finds Clooney more smarmy than charmy. Stop it with the eyebrow waggling already.
Yay for Ryan Phillipe for cracking my shit up with the intensity during Reese's acceptance speech. Best Unintentional Comedic Performance by an Oscar Winner's Spouse.
Yay for Jon Stewart for giving it a noble try. I would say that he moved from a C to a B-minus, B through the course of the telecast.
Boo on Brokeback for not taking the Crash approach to Best Picture success. See, instead of two gay cowboys there should have been, say, thirty. And like, instead of being subtle, we could have had every scene about homophobia. So it's all, HOMO! PHOBIA! GAY! LOVE! And then all the characters will learn something about this crazy, mixed-up world. And...cars on fire! Yeah! Now that's a Best Picture!
And finally, yay again for Charlize for providing a multi-faceted, solid performance in North Coun...OH MY GOD THE BOW ATE HER FACE AND IS TAKING OVER AMERICA AAGGHHH!
Boo for the totally unsurprising acting wins. More like Philip Seysnore Hoffman. Zing!
Boo on the montages for being even more inessential this year than in years previous. What was that one in the middle of the show even about? The best title I could come up with was, "Montage of, Like, Issues...In Movies".
Yay for Three 6 Mafia for taking Best Song. I mean, whoa! Black people rapping and winning awards for it! Crazy! This is such a big deal! Let's talk about it for the rest of the show because of it's sheer craziness!
Boo on me for being the only one in the free world who finds Clooney more smarmy than charmy. Stop it with the eyebrow waggling already.
Yay for Ryan Phillipe for cracking my shit up with the intensity during Reese's acceptance speech. Best Unintentional Comedic Performance by an Oscar Winner's Spouse.
Yay for Jon Stewart for giving it a noble try. I would say that he moved from a C to a B-minus, B through the course of the telecast.
Boo on Brokeback for not taking the Crash approach to Best Picture success. See, instead of two gay cowboys there should have been, say, thirty. And like, instead of being subtle, we could have had every scene about homophobia. So it's all, HOMO! PHOBIA! GAY! LOVE! And then all the characters will learn something about this crazy, mixed-up world. And...cars on fire! Yeah! Now that's a Best Picture!
And finally, yay again for Charlize for providing a multi-faceted, solid performance in North Coun...OH MY GOD THE BOW ATE HER FACE AND IS TAKING OVER AMERICA AAGGHHH!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Saving Race
The Amazing Race is back in our lives and regardless of its decline in quality over the years we can all be happy that (a) the teams are at least traveling outside the U.S. this season and (b) there are no contestants under the age of twelve.
I have to say even with the show now in it's ninth season, I still get all happy when all the teams are lined up at the beginning waiting to start. For all of the typed casting and idiotproofed challenges, few reality shows deliver moments as exciting as Phil Keoghan doing his whole beginning spiel leading up to "Travel safe...and, go!" followed by all eleven teams running like mad past him.
The first episode has more or less established the teams. We've got the hippies and the fratty-boom-batties as the obnoxiously camera conscious teams. Joseph and Monica call themselves team "Mo-Jo" but I would just go with "Team Spazzy" after all of their erratic behavior. Lisa and Joni make up the crizazy Southern team that probably amused me the most. My early favorites include cute mother/daughter Wanda and Desiree and way-too-normal-for-this-show Ray and Yolanda. Dave and Lori make up "Team Shmoopy" because they're cute and all but they're kind of that couple. Fran and Barry are acting like every other 60+ team that has ever been on this show, so we're not exactly breaking down walls there. Danielle and Dani are slightly, but just ever-so-slightly, more likeable than I thought they would be. Lake and Michelle are this season's "Team HAATE!" and are exactly as repulsive as I thought they would be. John and Scott are our first losers and...whatever. They raced pretty poorly so no tears there.
Honestly, this was a pretty damn good first episode. You win this time, Bruckheimer.
And this is random but look at Season 5 winner Kim on the CBS site. She was pretty before, but wow!
I have to say even with the show now in it's ninth season, I still get all happy when all the teams are lined up at the beginning waiting to start. For all of the typed casting and idiotproofed challenges, few reality shows deliver moments as exciting as Phil Keoghan doing his whole beginning spiel leading up to "Travel safe...and, go!" followed by all eleven teams running like mad past him.
The first episode has more or less established the teams. We've got the hippies and the fratty-boom-batties as the obnoxiously camera conscious teams. Joseph and Monica call themselves team "Mo-Jo" but I would just go with "Team Spazzy" after all of their erratic behavior. Lisa and Joni make up the crizazy Southern team that probably amused me the most. My early favorites include cute mother/daughter Wanda and Desiree and way-too-normal-for-this-show Ray and Yolanda. Dave and Lori make up "Team Shmoopy" because they're cute and all but they're kind of that couple. Fran and Barry are acting like every other 60+ team that has ever been on this show, so we're not exactly breaking down walls there. Danielle and Dani are slightly, but just ever-so-slightly, more likeable than I thought they would be. Lake and Michelle are this season's "Team HAATE!" and are exactly as repulsive as I thought they would be. John and Scott are our first losers and...whatever. They raced pretty poorly so no tears there.
Honestly, this was a pretty damn good first episode. You win this time, Bruckheimer.
And this is random but look at Season 5 winner Kim on the CBS site. She was pretty before, but wow!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
John Waters Marathon: '70s and '80s
In case you didn't know, I consider myself to be pretty gay. So you can imagine my shame in disclosing recently that I haven't seen any of John Waters's oeuvres save his most recent A Dirty Shame and Hairspray some years back. This is doubly shameful since not only are these landmarks in queer cinema, but it's well known that Waters places all of his films in his hometown of Baltimore which is practically in my backyard back home in PA.
Luckily, thanks to Andrew McB, I have caught up to the rest of the big gay world by watching just about all of Waters's mainstreamish films. Here are my thoughts.
Pink Flamingos
The plot: Trailer-residing, voluptuous Divine competes with the maliciously perverted Connie and Raymond Marbles, a couple in charge of a lesbian baby ring, for the title of "the filthiest people alive".
Wow. I knew it would be strange, but...wow. The chicken scene was awful in every way and I'm still bothered by it. Besides that though, I was pretty entertained. The scene with Divine and Crackers licking everything in the Marbles' house was priceless. And Waters's narration between scenes ("Oh happy day!") had me crying I was laughing so hard. And oh God, Edie the Egg Lady. Classic.
Prior to seeing the Flamingos I just knew it as "the one where Divine eats dog shit". Which, granted, stood out as an excellent conclusion. But now when people talk about that as the most standout, disturbing thing I just want to go, "Um, chicken fucking?". Or what about when Divine's character gives her son a blow job? Dog poo ain't got nothing on that. Great movie though.
Female Trouble
The plot: Divine stars as the contemptible runaway Dawn Davenport who becomes the photogenic muse for a beautician couple despite the efforts of her daughter and mother-in-law to put an end to her reign of terror.
Believe it or not, I watched this one with friend and occasional super-prude Phil. He hated it. I had a great time. (Although he regularly quotes the movie now, so I don't know.)
We leave the bestiality and poo-eating of Pink Flamingos to tackle on issues of child abuse, rape and drug addiction in Female Trouble...with hilarious results! Divine and Edith Massey both make great use of their screen time and help make the film just as disturbing as its predecessor. The make-up is great once again, especially Divine post-acid-in-face. For me the greatness of this movie is the image of Dawn stopping to smile at the Dashers' camera before beating her daughter with a chair. You can't get more corrupt than that.
Best line: Tie between "I'll have an extremely large glass of ice water." and "Fuck no! Fuck homework!"
Desperate Living
The plot: After killing her husband, a psychotic housewife and her maid seek refuge in a village of deviant lesbians ruled by Edith Massey's evil Queen Carlotta.
This was the last one that I watched, so after eight other films I'm surprised I like it as much as I did. The biggest problem is arguably the lack of Divine, which gives all of the actors (Edith Massey excluded) kind of a generic, non-outstanding weirdness. But what the movie lacks in characters, it makes up in sheer depravity and grossness. I couldn't even watch Mole's self-castration through my fingers. I definitely recommend it, but not before the first two.
Polyester
The plot: Beleaguered housewife Francine Fishpaw struggles to keep her sanity and sobriety in the face of her adulterous husband, hateful mother, hussy daughter, and criminally fetishist son. The movie also syncs up with one of those scratch and sniff cards.
This one was kind of hit and miss for me. I think this might be one of my favorite portrayals by Divine and she unquestionably held up the movie. It really just made me feel sad for Divine's Francine. It's kind of a let down seeing her go from her murderously fabulous roles in Flamingos and Trouble to being such a sad, beaten down housewife. And the odorama thing must have been tired even back then. Although this movie gets points for having the only death-by-macrame scene I've ever seen.
Most importantly, seeing this movie solved a longtime mystery for me. I've been a fan of The Avalanches' Since I Left You for a while and I first got into their album after hearing the single "Frontier Psychiatrist". Part of The Avalanches' whole style is random sampling of soundbytes from movies, etc. and the beginning to "Psychiatrist" is the whole dialogue between Francine Fishpaw and the school principal. You know, the whole "Surely expulsion is not the answer!" "I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer". I always wondered what in the hell this was from, but it was one of those things that I never cared about enough to actually go and look up, you know? And, uh, now I know.
Hairspray
The plot: Set in the early '60s, zaftig teen Tracy Turnblad gets a spot on Baltimore's local dance show and sets her sights on its policy of segregation.
This is the only early movie that I actually have seen albeit many years ago. How can you not love this movie? And I don't know if it was the mood I was in but I actually cried at one point. (Why yes. I am that gay.) It's just so cute! Ricki Lake and Divine are just adorable. The dancing is fun. Michael St. Vincent is a fox. And Debbie Fucking Harry plays one of the villians. You can't get more queer than that. And Vitamin C? Who fucking knew? Must-see, if only because it has since become a Broadway musical and cultural milestone.
Waters in the nineties and beyond coming soon.
Luckily, thanks to Andrew McB, I have caught up to the rest of the big gay world by watching just about all of Waters's mainstreamish films. Here are my thoughts.
Pink Flamingos
The plot: Trailer-residing, voluptuous Divine competes with the maliciously perverted Connie and Raymond Marbles, a couple in charge of a lesbian baby ring, for the title of "the filthiest people alive".
Wow. I knew it would be strange, but...wow. The chicken scene was awful in every way and I'm still bothered by it. Besides that though, I was pretty entertained. The scene with Divine and Crackers licking everything in the Marbles' house was priceless. And Waters's narration between scenes ("Oh happy day!") had me crying I was laughing so hard. And oh God, Edie the Egg Lady. Classic.
Prior to seeing the Flamingos I just knew it as "the one where Divine eats dog shit". Which, granted, stood out as an excellent conclusion. But now when people talk about that as the most standout, disturbing thing I just want to go, "Um, chicken fucking?". Or what about when Divine's character gives her son a blow job? Dog poo ain't got nothing on that. Great movie though.
Female Trouble
The plot: Divine stars as the contemptible runaway Dawn Davenport who becomes the photogenic muse for a beautician couple despite the efforts of her daughter and mother-in-law to put an end to her reign of terror.
Believe it or not, I watched this one with friend and occasional super-prude Phil. He hated it. I had a great time. (Although he regularly quotes the movie now, so I don't know.)
We leave the bestiality and poo-eating of Pink Flamingos to tackle on issues of child abuse, rape and drug addiction in Female Trouble...with hilarious results! Divine and Edith Massey both make great use of their screen time and help make the film just as disturbing as its predecessor. The make-up is great once again, especially Divine post-acid-in-face. For me the greatness of this movie is the image of Dawn stopping to smile at the Dashers' camera before beating her daughter with a chair. You can't get more corrupt than that.
Best line: Tie between "I'll have an extremely large glass of ice water." and "Fuck no! Fuck homework!"
Desperate Living
The plot: After killing her husband, a psychotic housewife and her maid seek refuge in a village of deviant lesbians ruled by Edith Massey's evil Queen Carlotta.
This was the last one that I watched, so after eight other films I'm surprised I like it as much as I did. The biggest problem is arguably the lack of Divine, which gives all of the actors (Edith Massey excluded) kind of a generic, non-outstanding weirdness. But what the movie lacks in characters, it makes up in sheer depravity and grossness. I couldn't even watch Mole's self-castration through my fingers. I definitely recommend it, but not before the first two.
Polyester
The plot: Beleaguered housewife Francine Fishpaw struggles to keep her sanity and sobriety in the face of her adulterous husband, hateful mother, hussy daughter, and criminally fetishist son. The movie also syncs up with one of those scratch and sniff cards.
This one was kind of hit and miss for me. I think this might be one of my favorite portrayals by Divine and she unquestionably held up the movie. It really just made me feel sad for Divine's Francine. It's kind of a let down seeing her go from her murderously fabulous roles in Flamingos and Trouble to being such a sad, beaten down housewife. And the odorama thing must have been tired even back then. Although this movie gets points for having the only death-by-macrame scene I've ever seen.
Most importantly, seeing this movie solved a longtime mystery for me. I've been a fan of The Avalanches' Since I Left You for a while and I first got into their album after hearing the single "Frontier Psychiatrist". Part of The Avalanches' whole style is random sampling of soundbytes from movies, etc. and the beginning to "Psychiatrist" is the whole dialogue between Francine Fishpaw and the school principal. You know, the whole "Surely expulsion is not the answer!" "I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer". I always wondered what in the hell this was from, but it was one of those things that I never cared about enough to actually go and look up, you know? And, uh, now I know.
Hairspray
The plot: Set in the early '60s, zaftig teen Tracy Turnblad gets a spot on Baltimore's local dance show and sets her sights on its policy of segregation.
This is the only early movie that I actually have seen albeit many years ago. How can you not love this movie? And I don't know if it was the mood I was in but I actually cried at one point. (Why yes. I am that gay.) It's just so cute! Ricki Lake and Divine are just adorable. The dancing is fun. Michael St. Vincent is a fox. And Debbie Fucking Harry plays one of the villians. You can't get more queer than that. And Vitamin C? Who fucking knew? Must-see, if only because it has since become a Broadway musical and cultural milestone.
Waters in the nineties and beyond coming soon.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Tour Hotness
So much excitement. First Toronto, now I find out that my electroclash fave Ladytron is playing at the Metro in Chicago on the 21st of April. Jeff and I in our office boredom made tentative plans to drive out there after his final that day. Any other takers? It's only $15 and them crazy Liverpoolians never seem to come stateside. Plus, Chicago is fun times. Lemme know like whoa.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Period. [Click]
Thanks to Jeff, here's the clip of Guadalupe in all her awesomeness. Here's a rough transcript below, too.
"Honestly, I can only give him a personal critique, nobody would ever know, unless they personally respond to me, would know, what my personal response is, and that is of me, and personally I believe you can't like push the boundaries, and like Johnny Cash, "Walk the Line" and...
Understand that Marla has an aesthetic, that I cannot duplicate, but Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate, and Arion, on national television, if you can get this, you fuckin rock because you believe in what is true. Period. [click] "
When I die, can someone please read this for my eulogy?
"Honestly, I can only give him a personal critique, nobody would ever know, unless they personally respond to me, would know, what my personal response is, and that is of me, and personally I believe you can't like push the boundaries, and like Johnny Cash, "Walk the Line" and...
Understand that Marla has an aesthetic, that I cannot duplicate, but Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate, and Arion, on national television, if you can get this, you fuckin rock because you believe in what is true. Period. [click] "
When I die, can someone please read this for my eulogy?
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Project Runway Does Not Disappoint
Top five reasons why the Project Runway reunion was the best thing ever:
1) Guada-fucking-lupe. What was she on? The nonsense? And the random shouting? "I LOVE SANTINO!!" Her ramblings were just...amazing. Today I even overheared two women in Cafe Ambrosia talking about how crizazy Lupe is. If anyone has a transcript or video clip of this great television moment, please please share.
2) The Andrae facial expression and frolicking montage. Especially Kara and Chloe imitating him by dancing around the bathroom with a hair dryer. Why don't they show more of this stuff on the show?
3) Zulema getting the smackdown from her formal model (Who is so cute!) and the others. Go away, Zulema.
4) Santino getting called out on all of his shit. The guy is funny all right but once you make my Diana Eng cry, it's over, bud.
5) Oh my God. Guadalupe. For reals, that made my television watching year.
1) Guada-fucking-lupe. What was she on? The nonsense? And the random shouting? "I LOVE SANTINO!!" Her ramblings were just...amazing. Today I even overheared two women in Cafe Ambrosia talking about how crizazy Lupe is. If anyone has a transcript or video clip of this great television moment, please please share.
2) The Andrae facial expression and frolicking montage. Especially Kara and Chloe imitating him by dancing around the bathroom with a hair dryer. Why don't they show more of this stuff on the show?
3) Zulema getting the smackdown from her formal model (Who is so cute!) and the others. Go away, Zulema.
4) Santino getting called out on all of his shit. The guy is funny all right but once you make my Diana Eng cry, it's over, bud.
5) Oh my God. Guadalupe. For reals, that made my television watching year.
Pretty Pucci
With all of the browns and golds going down the runway this season, the Pucci collection is like a breath of fresh air in a suffocating...situation...of earthtones. I love love the silver and blacks and purples with the furry trims. So pretty!
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