Yay for Charlize for fugging it up to the fugstreme. For God sakes, someone had to do it. And someone besides you, Hillary Swank.
Boo for the totally unsurprising acting wins. More like Philip Seysnore Hoffman. Zing!
Boo on the montages for being even more inessential this year than in years previous. What was that one in the middle of the show even about? The best title I could come up with was, "Montage of, Like, Issues...In Movies".
Yay for Three 6 Mafia for taking Best Song. I mean, whoa! Black people rapping and winning awards for it! Crazy! This is such a big deal! Let's talk about it for the rest of the show because of it's sheer craziness!
Boo on me for being the only one in the free world who finds Clooney more smarmy than charmy. Stop it with the eyebrow waggling already.
Yay for Ryan Phillipe for cracking my shit up with the intensity during Reese's acceptance speech. Best Unintentional Comedic Performance by an Oscar Winner's Spouse.
Yay for Jon Stewart for giving it a noble try. I would say that he moved from a C to a B-minus, B through the course of the telecast.
Boo on Brokeback for not taking the Crash approach to Best Picture success. See, instead of two gay cowboys there should have been, say, thirty. And like, instead of being subtle, we could have had every scene about homophobia. So it's all, HOMO! PHOBIA! GAY! LOVE! And then all the characters will learn something about this crazy, mixed-up world. And...cars on fire! Yeah! Now that's a Best Picture!
And finally, yay again for Charlize for providing a multi-faceted, solid performance in North Coun...OH MY GOD THE BOW ATE HER FACE AND IS TAKING OVER AMERICA AAGGHHH!
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