Happy Birthday, Dear "Reality"

I don't know how many people realize it, but it's almost the birthday of a whole genre of entertainment as we know it.

It's true, what has become notoriously known as reality television will be six years old--first grade already!--this summer. I can't decide if that seems like a long time or not. Probably not. But yes, it was the summer of 2000 when we first viewed the fruition of some guy with an accent who did shows for The Discovery Channel and his crazy idea to adapt a Swedish game show for the U.S. audience. Never mind that one of the original Swedish contestants actually committed suicide because of the show, this is going to be revolutionary! And what do you know? It kind of was.

Of course I'm talking about Survivor. That first summer when we cried with Jenna because she couldn't see her kids, became enamored with cute Colleen, laughed at Sue and her crazy Wisconsin accent, thought that creepy Greg guy was kind of hot (Or maybe that was just me...), groaned over dumb doctor Sean, and ultimately approved of snake Richard's victory over rat Kelly. It was great television. And think back to when you first heard the concept of the show. "People vote each other off? The island? Guh?" It's cliched to say, but it was an event in television history.

That first summer also brought us the first season of Big Brother, so really the downward slide was already in motion just one month later.

I look back now and I'm realizing that I probably say I love reality television more than I actually do. Let's take a look at my favorite reality shows of all time. We've got Survivor, which I have personally found unwatchable since the Africa season. The Amazing Race came out of nowhere with its sheer awesomeness, but then came the victory of Flo, then the dumbing down of the clues, then the Yield, then Rob and Amber being cast, then that godawful family season, then ridiculous casting decisions what with the abusive couples. So, not so much with the TAR love any more. The Mole was probably one of the smartest, most entertaining shows on television, but no one else watched it due to ABC's fucking around with its timeslot, and then there were those celebrity editions, so it met a rightful death. The Apprentice had a good first run, but it all went to hell the next season and now it looks like it might get cancelled before the sixth is aired. And there's always The Real World, which...'nuff said.

SO that leaves us with what? America's Next Top Model is still going strong in its sixth season. And Project Runway has definitely slid into the number one spot in terms of quality. But that's about it. Now we're graced by the presence of such new gems as Unan1mous, Top Chef, The Simple Life, Laguna Beach, 8th & Ocean, Hell's Kitchen, Beauty and the Geek, Dancing with the Stars, Skating with Celebrities, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, The Swan, The Restaurant, Blow Out,Newlyweds, For Love or Money, Rock Star ...and on and on and you get it. You get it. I acknowledge that we still had crappy shows even five years ago, mostly thanks to FOX, but at least the good ones were still good. Instead of rehashing interchangeable seasons of crap like The Bachelor and Big Brother, we need something new and something not so affected by previous shows. We need new ideas out there, not hackneyed "twists" to already dying shows. And not some rote, high-concept bullshit networks make to try and create a buzz like Unan1mous. We all get that reality TV is about as postmodern as you can get. We can't rely on that alone any more.

The question is, where can we go from here? I don't know if reality TV is going to once again reach levels of cultural change as much as it did with Survivor and The Real World, but something better happen. Because I refuse a life of watching Deal or No Deal, damn it.