Recent rescheduling of The Amazing Race from it's Tuesday timeslot to Wednesdays at 8 pm is forcing reality show fans like myself (who don't watch the cultural schlock that is Crapmerican Crapdol) to choose between CBS's TAR and UPN's America's Next Top Model. I'm not a huge fan of rational choice approaches to life, but it might help to objectively weigh the pros and cons of each program.
The Amazing Race
Hosted by lovely and snarky Phil Keoghan (+5), who makes questionable wardrobe choices at times (-1)
All the fun of pretty locations and international travel (+2)
The top two teams this season, the frats and hippies, are the Tool Lords of Toolsylvania in the nation of Toolzbekistan. (-7)
Boring challenges (-2)
But, hey, no kids this time! (+2)
All three all-female teams being eliminated before the halfway mark (-3)
That motherfucking Travelocity gnome (-4) and the ridiculous product placement in general (-3)
Total: -11
America's Next Top Model
Hosted by crazy Tyra (+4), but also features grating "runway coach" Miss J. Alexander (-3).
Predictable eliminations, such as last week's riddance of the token no-personality personality girl (-6), but thankfully there's no no-chance-in-hell plus size model this season (+2)
This season's manipulative villain, a drag queen hag named Jade (+3)
Guest appearances by Janice (+4)
Seeing these girls' feelings of self-worth torn to shreds week after week (+6)
Tyra's "acting" (-2)
Nicole's "acting" every week in the "My Life as a Cover Girl" segments (+2 for unintended comedy)
Total: +10
Well, Amazing Race, unless half of your current cast chooses a Detour that involves driving off of a cliff ("This Detour option will cause death, but teams will complete the task quickly"), I guess I'll be seeing you during the Top Model commercials.
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