Movies I wouldn't mind seeing, but I know none of my friends would come with me:
Silent Hill
Hard Candy
Movies I want to see that make me say I feel embarrassed for wanting to see, but not really:
Stick It
A Prairie Home Companion
X-Men: The Last Stand
Movies I want to see that make me feel genuinely embarrassed:
Akeelah and the Bee
The Devil Wears Prada
Movies with sensitive subject matter that I will never, ever see, but hey that doesn't even really mean much given that I saw The Passion of the Christ, and in the theater no less, but even that didn't stop us from doing Jesus impressions in the lobby:
United 93
World Trade Center
Movies that you couldn't pay me to see in the theater, on DVD, or otherwise:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Miami Vice
The Da Vinci Code
Movies I would only want to see because they feature Paul Rudd and are titled after a great one-hit wonder of the late nineties:
I Could Never Be Your Woman
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Confusing Coversation with Mom: Part #42383
Mike: Hey, you know I was offered an internship in D.C. for the summer.
Mom: Really?
Mike: Yeah but I had to turn it down since they gave me too short of notice. It sucks.
Mom: Who was it with?
Mike: The Human Rights Campaign. You know the stickers? The blue and yellow equal--
Mom: The Human League?
Mike: Uh, no. The Human Rights Camp--
Mom: Oh, the Human League?
Mike: No, Mom. That's a band. From the eighties.
Mom: You know, the Human Fund?
Mike: Human Fund?
Mom: From that episode of Seinfeld?
Mike: OH YEAH. When George makes a fake charity instead of giving real Christmas presents?
Mom: Yeah!
Mike: Haha. I love that one.
Mom: Yeah that's great.
Mike: But no. That's not where the internship was.
Mom: Oh.
Mom: Really?
Mike: Yeah but I had to turn it down since they gave me too short of notice. It sucks.
Mom: Who was it with?
Mike: The Human Rights Campaign. You know the stickers? The blue and yellow equal--
Mom: The Human League?
Mike: Uh, no. The Human Rights Camp--
Mom: Oh, the Human League?
Mike: No, Mom. That's a band. From the eighties.
Mom: You know, the Human Fund?
Mike: Human Fund?
Mom: From that episode of Seinfeld?
Mike: OH YEAH. When George makes a fake charity instead of giving real Christmas presents?
Mom: Yeah!
Mike: Haha. I love that one.
Mom: Yeah that's great.
Mike: But no. That's not where the internship was.
Mom: Oh.
Monday, April 24, 2006
At Your Leisure
Ladytron? SO good live. The show was at the Metro in Chicago, which was a fun and surprisingly intimate venue. The opening act consisted of two guys in oversized t-shirts and tight pants called The Presets who played some jaunty and danceable electroclash. Seemed to go on for a while, but good stuff.
Ladytron came out after what seemed like a long time. Totally hot though. Helen and Mira were both femmed out in black, low-cut, knee-length dresses and wee little black boots. Daniel is still looking hot, sleazestache and all. Ruben is always hot. The band started off with "High Rise" and then went on to play almost everything else on Witching Hour, with my surprise favorite being "The Last One Standing". They also played some of the best stuff from the two previous albums: "Seventeen", "Playgirl", "Discotraxx", "True Mathematics", "Evil", "Blue Jeans" and a few others. We were up in the balcony area with a good view and plenty of room to dance and act a fool, and Gina and I made sure to capitalize on that.
I give the show an A+, but I probably still would if they came out and only did interpretive dances to Rod Stewart songs. Actually, that would have been kind of awesome.
Here are some YouTube links to some of their music videos. I don't really understand them entirely, but they're fun to watch:
"Sugar"
"Destroy Everything You Touch"
"Seventeen"
"Playgirl"
Ladytron came out after what seemed like a long time. Totally hot though. Helen and Mira were both femmed out in black, low-cut, knee-length dresses and wee little black boots. Daniel is still looking hot, sleazestache and all. Ruben is always hot. The band started off with "High Rise" and then went on to play almost everything else on Witching Hour, with my surprise favorite being "The Last One Standing". They also played some of the best stuff from the two previous albums: "Seventeen", "Playgirl", "Discotraxx", "True Mathematics", "Evil", "Blue Jeans" and a few others. We were up in the balcony area with a good view and plenty of room to dance and act a fool, and Gina and I made sure to capitalize on that.
I give the show an A+, but I probably still would if they came out and only did interpretive dances to Rod Stewart songs. Actually, that would have been kind of awesome.
Here are some YouTube links to some of their music videos. I don't really understand them entirely, but they're fun to watch:
"Sugar"
"Destroy Everything You Touch"
"Seventeen"
"Playgirl"
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Gently With a Chainsaw
Oh, God. Right now I'm drowning in this paper for my film class. I have to offer a queer reading of popular film. I chose Heathers for it's lezzie undertones but mostly because I just love the movie. If I'm going to be spending ten to twelve pages on a movie, I figured it might as well be one that I like.
My main argument? Veronica and the Heathers are lesbians, and Veronica's defection is essentially a defection from her true, queer identity. Heterosexuality, represented by her relationship with J.D., is actually the deviant act. And so on. And blahh.
Seriously, does anyone have any insights to offer? This sucks, big time.
My main argument? Veronica and the Heathers are lesbians, and Veronica's defection is essentially a defection from her true, queer identity. Heterosexuality, represented by her relationship with J.D., is actually the deviant act. And so on. And blahh.
Seriously, does anyone have any insights to offer? This sucks, big time.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Witching Hour
Wee! The Ladytron concert in Chicago is Friday night and I'm psyched. Favorite band + favorite city + favorite people = fun times. It's my first electroclash concert so I don't even really know what to expect. I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!*
*Clearly, I have been watching too much Saved By The Bell on Adult Swim.
*Clearly, I have been watching too much Saved By The Bell on Adult Swim.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Coca-Cola Yukk
One of the adorable tykes on Wonder Showzen responded to the question "What is heaven?" with "A new product!", and I have to say I usually agree.
But not this time. I'm looking at you Coca-Cola Blak.
I shilled out the $1.79 for you for no other reason other than that you are new and, for at least the time being, somewhat culturally relevant. Plus I like caffeine and so-called energy drinks and will eventually just make my life easier and start wheeling around a Diet Red Bull IV with me. You started out spicy and interesting, like a better tasting Vanilla Coke infused with coffee, but then that aftertaste hits you and bleeearghhkkk. I was liking you and then all of a sudden I realized that finishing the teeny eight-ounce bottle would be a formidable challenge. And really, who cares when I could spend less money on a shot of espresso that doesn't taste like it was mixed with three-day-old Coke?
Moral of the story? Unlike the farmer and the cowman, the Coke and the coffee should not be friends.
But not this time. I'm looking at you Coca-Cola Blak.
I shilled out the $1.79 for you for no other reason other than that you are new and, for at least the time being, somewhat culturally relevant. Plus I like caffeine and so-called energy drinks and will eventually just make my life easier and start wheeling around a Diet Red Bull IV with me. You started out spicy and interesting, like a better tasting Vanilla Coke infused with coffee, but then that aftertaste hits you and bleeearghhkkk. I was liking you and then all of a sudden I realized that finishing the teeny eight-ounce bottle would be a formidable challenge. And really, who cares when I could spend less money on a shot of espresso that doesn't taste like it was mixed with three-day-old Coke?
Moral of the story? Unlike the farmer and the cowman, the Coke and the coffee should not be friends.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Blah. White.
Television Without Pity is running a brief interview with Black. White. creator R.J. Cutler. It's nothing particularly revealing, but it's fun to see some of the thought that went into developing the show.
I like that he acknowledges the difficulty with the makeup, since I still think it looks fakey mcfake at least half of the time. Though I will admit that I did find myself saying, "Hey that's pretty convincing" more often as the show progressed. He kind of downplays the seemingly high level of producer intervention, which is something I think could have benefitted the show more in general--a more transparent breaking down of the fourth wall. But at least Cutler reveals what they said to the peripheral characters about the camera crew. That's been a nuisance of mine since the first ep. And I totally forgot he did that American High show that no one watched except me. And I think I only watched the first episode, come to think of it. Good show, though...maybe.
Edited to add: Did anyone else watch the BW finale tonight? Because, yaaawn. I feel bad for being so bored. There just wasn't much there. It was like, poetry reading, museum, hiking, blah blah journey not a destination blah talking blah something. Then eighty-seven hours later the families moved out. It would be interesting to see a follow-up or reunion type show. That would put better closure on the series.
I like that he acknowledges the difficulty with the makeup, since I still think it looks fakey mcfake at least half of the time. Though I will admit that I did find myself saying, "Hey that's pretty convincing" more often as the show progressed. He kind of downplays the seemingly high level of producer intervention, which is something I think could have benefitted the show more in general--a more transparent breaking down of the fourth wall. But at least Cutler reveals what they said to the peripheral characters about the camera crew. That's been a nuisance of mine since the first ep. And I totally forgot he did that American High show that no one watched except me. And I think I only watched the first episode, come to think of it. Good show, though...maybe.
Edited to add: Did anyone else watch the BW finale tonight? Because, yaaawn. I feel bad for being so bored. There just wasn't much there. It was like, poetry reading, museum, hiking, blah blah journey not a destination blah talking blah something. Then eighty-seven hours later the families moved out. It would be interesting to see a follow-up or reunion type show. That would put better closure on the series.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Kids Say the Awesomest Things
I think I made one of the best decisions in my life this past weekend. And that decision was to purchase season one of MTV2's Wonder Showzen (né Kids Show) on DVD.
It's...wow. A beautiful thing. If you haven't seen it, go to YouTube and search for clips. You will not be disappointed. There are so many good segments. I particularly enjoy "Q & A", in which kids respond to simply worded questions. ("What is heaven?", "That's where drunk daddies drive to!") Also of note are the could-be-straight-from Sesame Street stock footage clips of factories with scathing cultural commentary by the kids. (At a TV dinner factory: "Chicken genocide! Chicken Darfur!"). The "Beat Kids" and Clarence sketches are also awkwardly hilarious.
MTV2 is currently airing the second season of Wonder Showzen, and I'm happy to report that all of the offensiveness and funny are still there. Watch it. Or God will rip your face off...and feed it to a goat.
It's...wow. A beautiful thing. If you haven't seen it, go to YouTube and search for clips. You will not be disappointed. There are so many good segments. I particularly enjoy "Q & A", in which kids respond to simply worded questions. ("What is heaven?", "That's where drunk daddies drive to!") Also of note are the could-be-straight-from Sesame Street stock footage clips of factories with scathing cultural commentary by the kids. (At a TV dinner factory: "Chicken genocide! Chicken Darfur!"). The "Beat Kids" and Clarence sketches are also awkwardly hilarious.
MTV2 is currently airing the second season of Wonder Showzen, and I'm happy to report that all of the offensiveness and funny are still there. Watch it. Or God will rip your face off...and feed it to a goat.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The Freshmaker: Lit Trends, Lifestyle Outlooks and Lucky Charms
Fresh: Investigative pseudo-journalism
Fresh last week: Snarky Chicklit
Stale: Authorship hoaxes
Fresh: Superficiality for aestheticism's sake
Fresh last week: Superficiality for irony's sake
Stale: Superficiality for elitism's sake
Fresh: The purple horseshoes
Fresh last week: The green clovers
Stale: The red balloons
Fresh last week: Snarky Chicklit
Stale: Authorship hoaxes
Fresh: Superficiality for aestheticism's sake
Fresh last week: Superficiality for irony's sake
Stale: Superficiality for elitism's sake
Fresh: The purple horseshoes
Fresh last week: The green clovers
Stale: The red balloons
Monday, April 10, 2006
Battle of the Network Reality Timeslots
Recent rescheduling of The Amazing Race from it's Tuesday timeslot to Wednesdays at 8 pm is forcing reality show fans like myself (who don't watch the cultural schlock that is Crapmerican Crapdol) to choose between CBS's TAR and UPN's America's Next Top Model. I'm not a huge fan of rational choice approaches to life, but it might help to objectively weigh the pros and cons of each program.
The Amazing Race
Hosted by lovely and snarky Phil Keoghan (+5), who makes questionable wardrobe choices at times (-1)
All the fun of pretty locations and international travel (+2)
The top two teams this season, the frats and hippies, are the Tool Lords of Toolsylvania in the nation of Toolzbekistan. (-7)
Boring challenges (-2)
But, hey, no kids this time! (+2)
All three all-female teams being eliminated before the halfway mark (-3)
That motherfucking Travelocity gnome (-4) and the ridiculous product placement in general (-3)
Total: -11
America's Next Top Model
Hosted by crazy Tyra (+4), but also features grating "runway coach" Miss J. Alexander (-3).
Predictable eliminations, such as last week's riddance of the token no-personality personality girl (-6), but thankfully there's no no-chance-in-hell plus size model this season (+2)
This season's manipulative villain, a drag queen hag named Jade (+3)
Guest appearances by Janice (+4)
Seeing these girls' feelings of self-worth torn to shreds week after week (+6)
Tyra's "acting" (-2)
Nicole's "acting" every week in the "My Life as a Cover Girl" segments (+2 for unintended comedy)
Total: +10
Well, Amazing Race, unless half of your current cast chooses a Detour that involves driving off of a cliff ("This Detour option will cause death, but teams will complete the task quickly"), I guess I'll be seeing you during the Top Model commercials.
The Amazing Race
Hosted by lovely and snarky Phil Keoghan (+5), who makes questionable wardrobe choices at times (-1)
All the fun of pretty locations and international travel (+2)
The top two teams this season, the frats and hippies, are the Tool Lords of Toolsylvania in the nation of Toolzbekistan. (-7)
Boring challenges (-2)
But, hey, no kids this time! (+2)
All three all-female teams being eliminated before the halfway mark (-3)
That motherfucking Travelocity gnome (-4) and the ridiculous product placement in general (-3)
Total: -11
America's Next Top Model
Hosted by crazy Tyra (+4), but also features grating "runway coach" Miss J. Alexander (-3).
Predictable eliminations, such as last week's riddance of the token no-personality personality girl (-6), but thankfully there's no no-chance-in-hell plus size model this season (+2)
This season's manipulative villain, a drag queen hag named Jade (+3)
Guest appearances by Janice (+4)
Seeing these girls' feelings of self-worth torn to shreds week after week (+6)
Tyra's "acting" (-2)
Nicole's "acting" every week in the "My Life as a Cover Girl" segments (+2 for unintended comedy)
Total: +10
Well, Amazing Race, unless half of your current cast chooses a Detour that involves driving off of a cliff ("This Detour option will cause death, but teams will complete the task quickly"), I guess I'll be seeing you during the Top Model commercials.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Novelty Pleasure o' the Week
Despite the apparent just-barely-controversy surrounding it, and also ignoring the general tiredness of the song, I have to say that Bubba Sparzxzxxs&8cx's video for "Ms. New Booty" has to be my favorite thing on television at the moment. (Not counting the ads for Slither which look freakin sweet.)
For me, infomercial parodies are always comic gold. Especially when the product information on the side states "Fixes that stuff up!!" Enjoy the video while its novelty lasts, because it's going to get really annoying in, oh, let's say a week tops. But at least the song and video are filling the post-"Humps" void because, Christ, can anyone stand that song any more?
For me, infomercial parodies are always comic gold. Especially when the product information on the side states "Fixes that stuff up!!" Enjoy the video while its novelty lasts, because it's going to get really annoying in, oh, let's say a week tops. But at least the song and video are filling the post-"Humps" void because, Christ, can anyone stand that song any more?
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